I think, therefore I am
My year so far …
We are midway in 2019 and yet I feel like this year has lasted a million days already. And I mean that both in a good and bad way.
Before I delve into the reasons, I feel it’s best I put forward a disclaimer: This is bound to be a long article. Why? Well, I write because it’s cathartic to me. And I have been meaning to write something since the beginning of this year, and somehow just never got to doing it. Because of that, I have so much bottled up that I need to leg go of. I am hoping to find clarity with every stroke of the keyboard to be honest.
Late December, I wrote down the things I needed to make happen this year:
- Stabilize roometo . Get the platform to a point it could run itself, meet its bottom-line and we would only have to worry about scaling.
- Grow my savings 10X
- Travel outside Africa at least once
- Hit 155 lbs in weight
- Practice more zen and mindfulness. Grow in spiritual connection
- Move into a bigger space
- Become a Google Android Associate Developer
- Improve general productivity, efficiency and prioritization both at an individual level and at a company level
- Grow more meaningful relationships
- Go Skydiving or bungee jumping
- To have fun and learn while doing all these things
The goals highlighted above each represent an important facet of how I judge the quality of my life. But before we go into the score card of how I performed, or how I am performing, I think it’s important to begin with an understanding of where I am coming from.
I am a young man, in his mid-twenties who recently just cleared studies, set to graduate this year. I am lucky that I found something I am passionate about early on, and that I was able to get an amazing job through that working for people I consider both mentors and heroes. It’s not a lot of people that can say they are working the job they have always wanted to, for a company they have always to wanted to work for and for a CEO whom they consider their role model. I check all three boxes. I am also grateful and lucky that God granted me amazing friends and partners who I get to build incredibly awesome products with and who push the limits of my visions and dreams. In retrospect I have a lot of things to be grateful for and I am aware that in a lot of ways, I am lucky.
But I am also a Gen Y, living in the social media age with information transference happening at light speed. An age where societal pressure has never been greater. And I too, feel it. The pressure to be something, to find meaning and to leave a mark despite not being fully aware what that means. Like my peers, I want to change the world even though I am not sure I know how. The pressure to have this, own that or do this before age 30, because 30 to us is the golden number.
Who came up with this 30 mark?. Was it Forbes with their “top 30 under 30” list or is it just something we intrinsically feel?
Combine these two in one bowl, and you have me. A mid-twenties young man with embattled thoughts. Two forces, opposing each other and yet almost equal in strength. A conflict between instant and delayed gratification; short-term and long-terms goals; “YOLO” and take control of your future. It is exasperating. I am the only one that sees the resemblance between our modern day lives and that of Sisyphus?
For those who don’t know, Sisyphus was the king of Ephyra who was cursed by Zues to roll up an immense bolder up a hill only for it to roll down when it nears the top. And he was supposed to repeat this action for eternity. Isn’t that us today? In an endless circle of doing or owning without any sort of purpose attached to it?
Anyway, let’s get back into 2019 after that slight detour. To my score card of the things I wanted to pursue this year. Despite having attained, to some degree, most of the things I listed above; I have also never felt more tired in my life.
This year, I got an opportunity to travel outside Africa on more than one occasion. And I met incredible people, and did incredible things. I am sure two decades down the line, these are the stories I’ll be recounting to my children or grandchildren. I had an opportunity to represent my country in China for the Global Student Entrepreneurs Award. While at it, I had my first run with deportation and detention in foreign land, an experience that was both exhilarating as it was scary (l’ll share my travel experience, deportation and how I had a documentary done about me in a different article).
But that’s the fun bit about it. What they don’t tell you is the jet lag. That 18 hours flight are cool until you land. If you have too many back-to-back travels like I did, then that jet lag can hit you for days or even weeks. That’s exactly what happened to me. After a couple of back-to-back travels, my body sort of started shutting down. Dehydration and fatigue kicked in, two things you shouldn’t have when have projects to handle and a company to run. It takes a huge toll on you and I’m not certain I have regained my full energy back.
And that there, I would say has been my blessing and curse. On one hand, I crossed something off my bucket list. On other, it took a slippery slope. Looking back, one of the biggest mistakes I made was that I did not give my body enough time to rejuvenate before diving back into things. Couple that with being mid-twenties, working hard to attain your goals and constantly battling your thoughts.
The result of it? Now I am in a position where every goal and every project is midway or in progress but the speed of execution is tremendously slow. Why? I am seriously exhausted. I am exhausted before I even wake up 😂😂😂. And I know that sounds stupid, but it’s true.
The consequence of all this has been inefficiency and being too “busy”. For those that know me, they know I hate using the term busy or saying that I am busy. Except for this scenario, I can’t think of any other term to use.
In roometo for instance, we are getting way too many requests than we can’t handle. After successfully partnering with a couple of universities, we have become their main platform for handling external student accommodation leading to a spike in requests and traffic. It’s the kind of problem we wanted to face when we started the platform and now we are here, at a time when my energy level is dwindling. And yet, a core goal for this year was scale.
All this made me realize just how precious and rare time is. I actually sat down and did an honest quality analysis of my life based on the facets I consider important (I’ll also do an article on this). Needless to say, I was not happy with where I was and I can’t extrapolate who I am over the next decade. The me now is not someone I am proud of.
I could jump deeper into the other goals, but I feel that would be a huge segue from musings and more along the lines of whining. I’d rather talk about moving forward.
Time is everything and prioritization is key. I am starting to be aware just how much. And because I also know that I am not my best self, currently, it also means I have to learn how to work differently.
So what does working differently mean? It means picking up the projects I am currently handling, prioritizing them and seeing them through to the end. It means focus on what I can do (and quickly) but also listening to when my body cannot handle anymore. That if in a day I can complete 3,4 or maybe even 5 key aspects of the high priority things then I am good. But most importantly, it means stopping to dig the whole further. Saying no to engagements and commitments I know I cannot fulfill a lot more often.
When I started this article, my goal was to dissect the goals I listed above in relation to how on track I am with attaining them. But like I said, my hope was always to gain clarity with every key stroke. I am happy to say, as I sign off I am honestly feeling much better than I did when I began.
I apologize if my thoughts look scattered. Maybe someday I’ll come and re-read the article and give it a better build up and direction, but for now that’s all I have got.
I would definitely love to hear your 2019 so far. How’s it going?
